~8:59 PM

today i left giant feeling really depressed. i dont know is it because i committed a mistake and was grieving over it, or is it because i had no company during break and the journey home. my mind felt so cluttered and i couldnt think properly. try as i might, i dont get why i am feeling so zao. anw i think it is so xie men, because whenever i put my bag alone in one locker, means i'll be going home alone without ly and sm. and another xie men thing is the qian nian lao yao is forever beside me. this morning she actually volunteered to check out my conveyor belt for me when i told someone beside me that the belt for my counter isnt moving. goodness. is she trying to be nice for a start? i really dont know, but i shan't forgive her evilness, yet.
i dont know why i did what i did leh. haiz. i know it's just a mistake la, but i cant help feeling bad even though i dont give a damn about this job. and then when v.g asked why i never ask the supervisor what to do, i feel even worse. why dint i ask? shouldnt have took matters into my own hands and create problems for others right. maybe next time i shouldnt be so fen shen while working. but i dont wish to give so much energy to this darned job. since i only worsen the situation, why not they consider dismissing me.
i keep saying that i wanna quit i wanna quit but in the end im still working there, im beginning to wonder if it will ever happen at all. i am so not guo duan.
but then, i really dont know what i want too. what's life all about? i no longer feel much of a meaning. i live because life is waiting for me, not because i know that there is sth i wanna to be alive for.
like those women from the past centuries, i just yearned to have a nice family for the rest of my life, and if i am lucky and good enough, i can have my own restaurant or shop too.
goodness, im only 18 but i feel as if im experiencing a crisis.
these are the things i look forward to though: watching charlotte's web and huang jin jia, haircut, feast outing to seoul garden or sakae, having dinner at ma ma's house, giving ly her bdae present :D

``el

| together on :).
Sunday, January 07, 2007
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we dream together.we spin tales of candy sugar together.we watch the world go by together. We the group, the posse, the band, the rockers. Together, us.